🎶 Come, they told me, pa rum pum pum pum 🎶
I’m not sure what’s in it for me. I keep asking myself what my expectations are. I keep searching my own intentions. There’s a time investment. There’s a financial cost. But there is ZERO obligation. And yet I keep coming. The vortex of need is overwhelming—beyond what I could possibly make a dent in. I’m not naïve enough to think I’m taking on the role of superhero or white savior. In fact, I feel pretty small and ill-equipped.
And yet, every time I come, my heart is full. Not because I solve big problems. Sometimes when I show up, I can’t even solve the smallest of problems.
🎶 O Come all Ye Faithful, Joyful and Triumphant 🎶
The interactions with this sweet neighbor and her family resettled in my community have changed something in me. The gift is mine.
There are other faithful people who come. If I didn’t show up and attempt to meet any of their needs, they would figure it out a different way. They are survivors. They survived and thrived and moved forward long before I knew this beautiful family.
🎶 Joy to the World, the Lord is Come 🎶
Last week I took the 14 year old daughter of my sweet neighbor to the doctor for a well-visit. She rallied for her own appointment. I taught her how to fill out medical forms. I showed her where her mom would need to sign so she could legally manage her own healthcare. It’s not that her mom wouldn’t love to come, caring for her precious daughter. It’s just that as a single mom of 10 kids, working fulltime at the meatpacking plant while studying English at night, there’s just not enough time in her days to navigate a well visit for child #5.
$23.19. That’s the price for two over-the-counter medications and a prescription of Vitamin D not covered by Medicaid. I plotted ahead on our way to the pharmacy. I was ready to be a joyful giver. $23.19—paid, gladly. We sat together on a bench at the back of Walgreens, and I taught my young friend the difference between prescription drugs and over the counter ones.
🎶 O Come Let Us Adore Him 🎶
Dropping my friend off at her house, after quizzing her repeatedly on how to take her new meds, my heart was full—again. She thanked me for spending my own money. Her gratitude was an unexpected bonus. As we said goodbye, I told her that many have helped me in my life, even with medication. Maybe someday she’ll have the opportunity to help someone else pay for their medication. Freely I have received abundantly from kindnesses I could never repay. And in that moment, I was grateful for an opportunity to freely give.
I came home from that event scrambling to answer a call from my Specialty Pharmacy about a recent delivery of my leukemia medication—the super expensive immunotherapy drug that I take every day, for ever.  The operator politely informed me, “You have an outstanding balance of $5668.64, would you like to go ahead and pay that now…?” Â
What!? NO!! I can’t pay that now, or ever, really.
I hung up the phone with a deep sigh and flopped on the couch.
Sunlight and quiet beckoned me to be still.
I came for just a moment—empty-handed and wholehearted—into the presence of Divinity. And something shifted in my soul.
I came reviewing the vulnerable places I had just been with my 14-year-old friend. I came with the satisfaction of having paid her pharmacy bill in full—all 23 dollars and 19 cents of it. I came offering up my own fear and outstanding pharmacy bill.
I came not knowing.
🎶 O Come O Come Emmanuel 🎶
Christmas is about coming. O come Emmanuel. God be with us! Joy is that the promised Messiah is come.
That’s Jesus.
O Come, Desire Of The Nations, Bind
In One The Hearts Of All Mankind;
Bid Every Strife And Quarrel Cease
And Fill The World With Heaven’s Peace.
Jesus came to restore peace on earth, but he showed up first as a newborn—the epitome of defenseless, vulnerable, and needy.
His first invitation was to come and allow others to care and adore Him.
I have come so many times, vulnerable and weak.
So when a 14 year old vulnerably entrusts me to come into her need for medical care, I feel summoned to privilege. The gift of presence—her presence with me. The joy of seeing someone’s humble self and meeting them in that place. Sharing a holy space.
The invitation of Christmas is to just come.
Come needy.
Come heavy.
Come weak.
Come ready.
Come all you faithful.
Come with hands full, ready to give.
Come with hands empty, ready to receive.
Come along with Him.
Come back.
Come over and just be.
Come in need of $23 or $6000.
Come with your whole self.
Even if you have nothing to bring that’s fit to give a King, just come.
This article was published as the second in a series of articles for the 
On My Mind 